Dear non-existent readers,
I have a weakness for hand written correspondence. Luckily for me, my older sister shares this weakness. For the last few years (although honestly, nothing really in the last half year or so) we have regularly traded letters written in cursive, using fountain pens, and writing in the language style of Jane Austen heroines. When I was living in China we had a rather humorous exchange (through our fictional lawyers), the first two parts are in previous posts. This is my response to her response to my first letter. A couple of notes, WYS stands for Willful Younger Sister, CM=Crazy Mother, ROS=Responsible Older Sister, DSC=Department of Sisterly Conduct, and Wilamina, Elpinger, and Worcast, Legalities For the Under-represented= WEWLFU. In our fictional world, she is known as PPP1 and I am PPP2, we have a third sister who is titled PPP3. PPP stands for Pretty, Pretty, Princess...and endearment that we started using a while ago, I forget how.
Dear Ms. P.P.P. I,
We here at the law firm of Fickle, Fickle, and Bynum have received your letter dated August 9, 2007 and have undertaken for our client an attempt at a response. PPP2, otherwise known as WYS, was extremely disturbed by your spurious and completely groundless accusations, and
in response has retained our services for the duration of this distasteful quarrel.
We would first like to remind the honorable attorneys of WEWFLU that counter claims do not render prior claims obsolete (see the Basic Code of Sisterly Conduct, Article 723, paragraph 80, Clause 57 of sub-paragraph 64). We would also like to express our extreme disappointment that a simple matter of just compensation for a clear breach of contract obligations was met by such vociferous and unmerited slander directed towards my client by the defendant, your client. We understand that Sisterly Relations can sometimes be tetchy subject, but nothing is gained by indulging in spiteful libel. It is our sincere hope that these proceedings can be conducted in a ladylike manner, and that further behavior that is offensive to those with refined sensibilities can be avoided.
Further, we would like to respond to the above accusations in order of importance.
In regard to Article 1, Sub. A of the previously mentioned correspondence. It should be noted that in situations such as these that involve a Crazy Mother (CM), particular delicacy should be used when resolving conflicts between Sisters. Therefore we feel it is an egregious abuse of the legal standing of ROS to suggest that WYS fled her home country in order to encumber PPP1 with the care of said CM. We would like it to be observed that the career path of WYS was already determined before CM exhibited any serious signs of Craziness. When choosing the country to tie her future to, there was no need to take into consideration the care required by a CM. At this point, WYS cannot change her career path without incurring serious losses to her
educational investment. Her intention to return to the country of her birth after a period of 10-12 months should also be recognized. Where the CM chooses to reside is also no fault of WYS, and we deny any attempt by ROS to suggest that WYS is incapable of caring for CM because she is in a far-far-away land. Afterall, CM can just as easily reside in China as she can in Brazil.
In response to the accusation in Article 2 that WYS is in some way more Willful than most YSs is completely and utterly without foundation. We would also like to inform you that we will be filing a motion for the inter-sister correspondence dated from August 2004 through May 2007 to be excluded from the court proceedings, if indeed we cannot avoid a trial.
While we are sure that it would be very convenient for the plaintiff to excuse her responsibility for ensuring General Happiness so easily, it is our client's contention that ROS did not do enough to force her to "drink".
Please inform your client of this correspondence, and that we are eagerly awaiting your (civil) reply.
Sincerely,
Fickle, Fickle, and Bynum
Attorneys at Law
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