Dear Mrs. PPP1,
Upon being made aware of the threatening mail sent via your private barrister to my now distraught client, I have taken it upon myself to clear up any misunderstandings that might have occurred in the previous two weeks.
My client has been traveling in a barbaric country for the past week, the fact of which you had been previously notified. This epic adventure required the endurance of many hardships, not least of which was lack of access to the internet. Upon returning to her home in the backwards and provincial town of Nanjing, lonely and forlorn, she found her inbox flooded with unanswered correspondence in excess of 35 missives, including the notification from your attorney of your thoughtless and cruel resignation. It is indeed unfortunate that you would take such a hasty and ill advised action without full understanding of the particulars of the situation. Under these regretful circumstances my client has instructed me to inform you that she will consider your reinstatement to your previous Older Sister position after a suitable period, during which it will be required that you renew your Older Sisterly Qualifications and licensure, which have lapsed during this interlude.
Sincerely,
Sir Paul F. Bynum esq., BL, MFA, pHD.
(of Fickle, Fickle, and Bynum Barristers at Law)
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