A Correspondence (part 1)

Dearest P. P. Princess I,

The purpose of this letter is to apprise you of the charges that have recently been leveled against you. A one P. P. Princess II, of Nan Xiu Cun Lane, Nanjing, China has filed claims against you with the Department of Sisterly Conduct. These claims include gross negligence and deliberate and malicious neglect. P. P. Princess II, hereafter known as PPP2 in these documents, maintains that due to your negligence in your role as Responsible Older Sister (hereafter refered to as ROS) she has suffered the indignities resulting from Making Bad Decisions. These Bad Decisions include, inter alia, a string of unsuitable boyfriends, along with one or two disastrous decisions that shall remain unenumerated. It is her contention that if you had been properly fulfilling your role as ROS she would not have suffered the shame and embarrassment that are concomitant with making poor boyfriend selections and excessive alcohol consumption at inappropriate times. It is also her claim that due to your calculated neglect, her life has been allowed to develop in a way that is starting to have a negative impact on her basic happiness. Her basic contention is that, without the ROS guidance that is her due as a certified Willful Younger Sister (WYS), she has ended up like a "ship without a rudder, left to flounder in an ocean of uncertainty" (her words). Therefore, you have been charged with breach of the Sisterly Contract you entered into on December 11th, 1979. The victim (PPP2) is seeking damages in the form of one time payment of African Loot (to include a wooden bangle and perhaps a pair of cute African jeans) and also hand written correspondence on the finest stationary available for a period of 10 months, to begin in September 2007. This correspondence should also include the occasional package containing chocolate, coffee, and, perhaps, undergarments. All previous correspondence cannot be counted towards fulfilling these court ordered awards, and are legally considered to be null and void. Please address any concerns you might have with the
DSC directly.

Sincerely,

The Lawyers of Fickle, Fickle, and Bynum